hey ladies,sorry its been so long since i'v posted but so much has been going on! Well firstly rj and i started having relationship issues,so we decided not to ttc any more,and try to get our lives together again,its really been stressful. Then i found out that i do have high levels of fsh and my left tube is blocked,that can be fixed with surgery but the dr said if i dont want surgery i can take fertility drugs to force ovulation out of the right tube,the high fsh levels meaning menopause or i dont have as many and healthy eggs as i should,the doctor said can be caused by a thyroid disease,but everything came back ok on the test,the doctor said i can take more fertility meds...but he thinks with the high fsh and the block tube IVF would be our better option....can you say that i was shocked,firstly im only 20 years old and i need ivf and im pre-menopause?? i cried be cause its the only things i could do,secondly we can not afford ivf! thirdly we were suppose to be taking a TTC break,but now i dont know if my eggs would have allowed me to, I dont have that much time,So before all of this happened i only took soy 160mg days 1-4,and decided not to do the clomid this cycle,on day 5 i decided not to take the last dosage of soy because,we werent going to ttc any more...the days ticked by and we BD not preventing because then we have gotten the news about my eggs/blocked tube and ivf. BUT something told me to take a pregnancy test on DPO ten and i got a BFP...WHAT after all that i get a bfp?? im still in denial that im pregnant,my period is due sunday and my boobs are sore,and i have been cramping on and off for a few days,i used a test strip that i bought online and im not convienced,I told Rj and he's been rubbing on my belly and saying things like oh your breast are swollen and like if i sneeze...he'd go "your gonna have morning sickness" its so cute to see that he's excited,but i hope that my period doesn't come because if it do,not only will i be disappoint he will be too.I'm not excited at all because...i guess i dont have any excitement left in me,until i see a heartbeat or a positive blood test....i have been praying like crazy that this is really it because if not..i dont know where we go from here because ivf is out of the question,its not covered in my insurance....i dont understand after all the things the doctor told me over the last few weeks how can i be pregnant now?? even after two years of trying...ugh i guess i will keep you all posted on me sunday
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
infertile at 20-7
hey readers,
Just wanted to report that i got AF not that im totally surprised but i really thought the soy would work for me,i thought that i would be really hurt if i didn't get pregnant last cycle,but for some reason i was totally ok,i guess im coming to terms with the fact that i will not be getting pregnant any time soon at least not on my own. To me it seems like everything is "working" correctly...i have a normal 28 day cycle..i always get a positive OPK test around cd 13/14...we have started BD'ing before and on my fertile days,my temps,bbt chart is doing what there suppose to do and NOTHING!
speaking of ovulation test readers,i dont know if you know i just found out my self last night,that just because you get a positive test doesn't actually mean your releasing an egg...the ovulation test is just to detect the LH surge indicating that ovulation may take place within 24-48hrs after, i know the test can only do so much but i honestly thought a positive opk means that im indeed ovulating. first response has a FSH fertility home test that's done on CD 3,that supposedly detects high levels of fsh which can mean that you can be menopausal,and if it detects low levels you possibly have a good supply of eggs. this test is 25.00 tho it has mix reviews i totally think its worth it.Im now CD 4 and its to late for me but i plan to test my next cycle...not w/ the first response..i found the test cheaper on amazon,so i will be looking forward to sharing my experience with you.
*+*+high light...on this cycle+*+*
i'm not sure were actually TTC this cycle...i didn't care for a december duedate,but we decided what the hell lets keep with it,but rj got a new job yesterday,and we may spend some time apart. I started temping this cycle but i missed out today so i probably wont chart this cycle...i wouldn't be surprised if i get pregnant this month lol
this cycle im taking 160mg of soy
54mg of iron
and multi-vitamin
and if rj is here during the fertile window i will do the egg whites for my CM
Just wanted to report that i got AF not that im totally surprised but i really thought the soy would work for me,i thought that i would be really hurt if i didn't get pregnant last cycle,but for some reason i was totally ok,i guess im coming to terms with the fact that i will not be getting pregnant any time soon at least not on my own. To me it seems like everything is "working" correctly...i have a normal 28 day cycle..i always get a positive OPK test around cd 13/14...we have started BD'ing before and on my fertile days,my temps,bbt chart is doing what there suppose to do and NOTHING!
speaking of ovulation test readers,i dont know if you know i just found out my self last night,that just because you get a positive test doesn't actually mean your releasing an egg...the ovulation test is just to detect the LH surge indicating that ovulation may take place within 24-48hrs after, i know the test can only do so much but i honestly thought a positive opk means that im indeed ovulating. first response has a FSH fertility home test that's done on CD 3,that supposedly detects high levels of fsh which can mean that you can be menopausal,and if it detects low levels you possibly have a good supply of eggs. this test is 25.00 tho it has mix reviews i totally think its worth it.Im now CD 4 and its to late for me but i plan to test my next cycle...not w/ the first response..i found the test cheaper on amazon,so i will be looking forward to sharing my experience with you.
*+*+high light...on this cycle+*+*
i'm not sure were actually TTC this cycle...i didn't care for a december duedate,but we decided what the hell lets keep with it,but rj got a new job yesterday,and we may spend some time apart. I started temping this cycle but i missed out today so i probably wont chart this cycle...i wouldn't be surprised if i get pregnant this month lol
this cycle im taking 160mg of soy
54mg of iron
and multi-vitamin
and if rj is here during the fertile window i will do the egg whites for my CM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
right to the point,today is a bad day!!
I don't know how much more i can take i'm not sure how many times i can allow myself to cry,more so get my hopes up,thinking "this month is it" WHY cant i just get it in my head that,im not going to be pregnant?? i know i'm very negative rignt now..but im tired of being optimistic i'm tired of being happy for everybody else....i know i know that's selfish but...i swear on everything this has weakened me.
For two years i have tried to be in good spirits,optimistic but i tell you now i have been weak on my knees praying to god that i can just have ONE child...just one!!
I guess TTC is bringing out sides of me,that i never knew i had,maybe i need to give up?? i don't want to turn into a grouch,i don't want to be negative and i really honestly want to be happy for my family,and friends and most of all my TMP family.
I finally have found a place,were i am excepted,and the women there are so,i mean beyond supportive and i can only think..negative. for my TMP i deeply apologize.
+*+*my current status+*+*
cd 23-9 dpo
-slight headache
-crampish
-drop temp
I don't know how much more i can take i'm not sure how many times i can allow myself to cry,more so get my hopes up,thinking "this month is it" WHY cant i just get it in my head that,im not going to be pregnant?? i know i'm very negative rignt now..but im tired of being optimistic i'm tired of being happy for everybody else....i know i know that's selfish but...i swear on everything this has weakened me.
For two years i have tried to be in good spirits,optimistic but i tell you now i have been weak on my knees praying to god that i can just have ONE child...just one!!
I guess TTC is bringing out sides of me,that i never knew i had,maybe i need to give up?? i don't want to turn into a grouch,i don't want to be negative and i really honestly want to be happy for my family,and friends and most of all my TMP family.
I finally have found a place,were i am excepted,and the women there are so,i mean beyond supportive and i can only think..negative. for my TMP i deeply apologize.
+*+*my current status+*+*
cd 23-9 dpo
-slight headache
-crampish
-drop temp
Friday, February 19, 2010
infertile at 20-5
hey readers,
Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on me:im currently on cd 19 and 5 dpo, O'ed on vday night,it would be really nice if we conceived on one of the most romantic nights of the year.. if so i would be due november 8th the day after my 21st birthday,but with my luck i will be in labor and delivery the day of my birthday,i wouldn't mind tho..as long as i have a healthy baby in the end that would be the best..i mean the best gift ever!!! Last cycle i started having FPS (fake pregnancy symptoms) about 4 dpo. and this cycle i dont have any except for my abdomen has been sore ALL day yesterday and started again this afternoon. I doubt its a pregnancy symptom,but i really wish it would go away..i think i might take my last ovulation test today just to make sure im not having a double O i guess it would be cool having a second chance at getting pregnant in one month,but if both eggs get fertilized i wouldnt know how to react to the thought of having twins. my sister have 1 yr old twins(her first)conceived at 19,and i play an active roll in the twins life and they are a total handful at times..but i love them to death!
Rj and i have started to prepare for the new baby,tho it maybe awhile before he or she is expected,we decided to get a new car,big enough for the baby's car seat and his daughters toddler seat. I me trying so hard not to start buying baby clothes and maternity clothes for me but its soo exciting,it would be a bitter sweet moment if i give in and start buying it will fill an empty space,but be a constant remider that im not pregnant yet.
Time is flying by and soon i wont be 20 and infertile,i will be 30-40 and childless
Just wanted to give everyone a quick update on me:im currently on cd 19 and 5 dpo, O'ed on vday night,it would be really nice if we conceived on one of the most romantic nights of the year.. if so i would be due november 8th the day after my 21st birthday,but with my luck i will be in labor and delivery the day of my birthday,i wouldn't mind tho..as long as i have a healthy baby in the end that would be the best..i mean the best gift ever!!! Last cycle i started having FPS (fake pregnancy symptoms) about 4 dpo. and this cycle i dont have any except for my abdomen has been sore ALL day yesterday and started again this afternoon. I doubt its a pregnancy symptom,but i really wish it would go away..i think i might take my last ovulation test today just to make sure im not having a double O i guess it would be cool having a second chance at getting pregnant in one month,but if both eggs get fertilized i wouldnt know how to react to the thought of having twins. my sister have 1 yr old twins(her first)conceived at 19,and i play an active roll in the twins life and they are a total handful at times..but i love them to death!
Rj and i have started to prepare for the new baby,tho it maybe awhile before he or she is expected,we decided to get a new car,big enough for the baby's car seat and his daughters toddler seat. I me trying so hard not to start buying baby clothes and maternity clothes for me but its soo exciting,it would be a bitter sweet moment if i give in and start buying it will fill an empty space,but be a constant remider that im not pregnant yet.
Time is flying by and soon i wont be 20 and infertile,i will be 30-40 and childless
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
infertile at 20-4
hello readers
This week has been uneventful,im currently cd 10 i started using opk's yesterday and,bfn. i wasn't totally surprised or disappointed because i usually ovulate around cd 14. i really wanted to reassure my self that i wasn't ovulating because on cd 4/5 i had slight pain almost like O pains,then on cd 8/9 they were really uncomfortable.so my plan is just to keep testing until cd 16. im getting tested for diabetes tomorrow,i have a few symptoms so i wont be completely shocked,a few people in my family as well,so rj and i decided it was best to start working out and eating healthier now with or without diabetes,also loosing weight can also affect my fertility so im prepared to do what i have to to increase my fertility and live healthy in general im thinking about not really dieting dieting,but more of just watching what i eat,the portion of food that i have and skipping seconds,and cutting the sodas more veggies ect. I also had a doctors appointment and my left ovary is up against my uterus so i ask the tech would that keep me from ovulating and she said that she couldn't answer that and i would have to see my dr,i was upset at the fact that couldnt give any direct answers,but i will just have to wait until i see the dr. i so cant wait for my insurance to change so i can see better doctors and have more test.
This week has been uneventful,im currently cd 10 i started using opk's yesterday and,bfn. i wasn't totally surprised or disappointed because i usually ovulate around cd 14. i really wanted to reassure my self that i wasn't ovulating because on cd 4/5 i had slight pain almost like O pains,then on cd 8/9 they were really uncomfortable.so my plan is just to keep testing until cd 16. im getting tested for diabetes tomorrow,i have a few symptoms so i wont be completely shocked,a few people in my family as well,so rj and i decided it was best to start working out and eating healthier now with or without diabetes,also loosing weight can also affect my fertility so im prepared to do what i have to to increase my fertility and live healthy in general im thinking about not really dieting dieting,but more of just watching what i eat,the portion of food that i have and skipping seconds,and cutting the sodas more veggies ect. I also had a doctors appointment and my left ovary is up against my uterus so i ask the tech would that keep me from ovulating and she said that she couldn't answer that and i would have to see my dr,i was upset at the fact that couldnt give any direct answers,but i will just have to wait until i see the dr. i so cant wait for my insurance to change so i can see better doctors and have more test.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Infertile at 20-2
Hey readers,
I tested again and i got a positive test...but got my period in full force (the date it was due) some of the women suggested it could have been a chemical pregnancy (when the egg doesn't implant)but i think maybe the test was defected. My heart was broken,but something told me that this wasn't really it,i somewhat felt it much as i wanted to get excited i couldn't. I really believe im suffering from pcos or endo. So i'm going to the doctor next week and hopefully have some answers. This cycle I plan to start charting again, and i have been taking soy 120mg for days 1-5 of my cycle. i will also be using egg whites closer to my ovulation time. as well as ovulation test strips. Im prepared to do whatever this cycle to have my little miracle. If any of you have any tips please feel free to share
xobrixo
tips for my readers
:try having sex,at night and dont get up to use the rest room after.
:prop your hips up with a pillow or hold them up with your arms
more tips in my next post
I tested again and i got a positive test...but got my period in full force (the date it was due) some of the women suggested it could have been a chemical pregnancy (when the egg doesn't implant)but i think maybe the test was defected. My heart was broken,but something told me that this wasn't really it,i somewhat felt it much as i wanted to get excited i couldn't. I really believe im suffering from pcos or endo. So i'm going to the doctor next week and hopefully have some answers. This cycle I plan to start charting again, and i have been taking soy 120mg for days 1-5 of my cycle. i will also be using egg whites closer to my ovulation time. as well as ovulation test strips. Im prepared to do whatever this cycle to have my little miracle. If any of you have any tips please feel free to share
xobrixo
tips for my readers
:try having sex,at night and dont get up to use the rest room after.
:prop your hips up with a pillow or hold them up with your arms
more tips in my next post
Saturday, January 30, 2010
infertile at twenty
hey readers,
well today is day 27 dpo 12 and i decided to take a home pregnancy test and it came back negative. Instantly i was overwhelmed with sadness but not surprised. sad because its been well over two years and i have not had one pregnancy. Over the last two years i have told my self that it's going to happen,be positive and it will come. but the key word is two years and it hasn't come i'm twenty years old and infertile. This wasn't suppose to happen to me!!!! All throughout my school years,sex educational classes "we" have been told that,"it only takes one time" so When is it my time? I feel so lonely because my family doesn't know that we are trying,even if they knew i doubt they would be as supportive as i would like them too,but i'm dealing with it as best as i can.
AF(aunt flow=period) is due monday,i plan to make an appointment with the doctor to test for fibroids and pcos and talk about endo, i really hope everything comes back ok,but if it doesn't atleast i will know what's wrong with me.
xo-Bri-xo
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